Unpopular Truths According to That Teowonna!

Unpopular Truth #2: Mothers are the reason there are so many single women

To the Virgins, To Make Much of Time By Robert Herrick

Gather ye rose-buds while ye may, Old Time is still a-flying;

And this same flower that smiles today, Tomorrow will be dying.

The glorious lamp of heaven, the sun, the higher he’s a-getting,

The sooner will his race be run, and nearer he’s to setting.

That age is best which is the first, when youth and blood are warmer;

But being spent, the worse, and worst times still succeed the former.

Then be not coy, but use your time, and while ye may, go marry;

For having lost but once your prime, you may forever tarry.

I hope you didn’t loose patience and skipped the poem to get to why I think mothers are the primary reason there are so many single black women. If you did, please go back and read it. I’ll wait. This poem is key to my theory.

I recall the first time I read this poem in the 10th grade. It had a completely different meaning to me then. I thought Robert Herrick was an overzealous young man who was just trying to lay his best rhymes down so a young maiden would feel that “we don’t know what tomorrow will bring; we better live today”. In other words, I thought Herrick was using this poem to coax a young woman into getting their groove on.

But today however, I see the poem in a different light. Not only that, I agree with Herrick 100%. Young women should not put off marriage; they should get married while they are still young, pretty, and marriageable. Getting older does nothing for increasing your chances of being married and having a family.

There are a number of theories as to why young women, especially black women remain unmarried. There aren’t very many suitable partners; too many black men are in prison; blah, blah, blah. But let’s talk about root causes here… MOTHERS!

The reason there are so many unwed/never been married/never will be married women in their 30’s and  40’s is because when they young and marriageable, being a wife was the last thing on their minds. They were more career-focused than family-focused. Any why were their priorities all scrambled up? Because of their mothers!

Mothers, especially black mothers, do not train their daughters to be a wives. They no longer teach their girls the value of being a mother. They tell them that there is plenty of time to get married and have children. But guess what mothers, you were wrong. Women don’t have forever to get married and have children. Men do, but women don’t!

Have you noticed that white mothers raise their daughters to go to college to attract a better man to marry, whereas black mothers raise their daughters to go to college to get an education “so you won’t need a man”. Huge mistake. In that statement alone, mothers downplay the importance of men in our society. They are instilling the value of independence. And what a horrible thing to teach your daughter… that she doesn’t need a man… that a degree and career are more important than raising a family. And then when she is 39, not married and you still don’t have any grandchildren, you wonder what’s wrong with her. What’s wrong with her is that you raised her.

I understand why mothers encourage their daughters to be independent. They want them to be successful, and happy, and all the other things that they feel like they missed. But guess what, mamas, when 11:00 pm comes, you have a husband to go to bed with. You have a family. Why should your daughter not have the same? How happy do you think she will be when she is 45 with two or three degrees and no husband, no children, and no prospects for either?  Don’t overplay the value of education, especially at the expense of family.

Don’t get me wrong. There’s nothing wrong with going to college and getting an education. I highly endorse education. But I denounce education over family.

It’s time for mothers to retrain their own thought process so they can properly train their daughters to have balance in their lives. To get an education but also seek a suitable life mate. Teach them the value of a good man. That is how we start to reverse this negative trend.

So mother, when you send you daughters, and sons, off to college, in addition to encouraging them to get an education, encourage them to meet someone special and fall in love. Happiness and success can still be found within the walls of marriage and family.

As much as I love Robert Herrick, his poem needs a 2010 update. Who should we ask to update it? Hmm. Me? Really? No, I can’t! Ok, since you insist. Here it is, That Teowonna style!

To The Sistahs, To Make Much of College By That Teowonna!

Gather ye rosebuds while ye may, times ain’t like they used to be

Chase a career like your mother say, yo’ ass gonna end up free

Your mother sent you off to school so you can get an education and ‘won’t need no man’

She’s trying to live her dreams through you, but a family, she already has

Don’t get me wrong, I’m no hater; Getting an education is alright

But keep in mind that piece of paper sure can’t keep you warm at night

I’m not saying settle or accept less than you deserve

But don’t wear ‘independent woman’ like a medal; To black men, that’s the new ‘N’ word.

George Wilborn at The Comedy House Theatre

This past weekend, there were a ton of things to do, like the Eau Claire Ribs and Renaissance Festival, SC Body Building Championship and the Utopia Spring Shrimp Boil. In spite of the heat, I hope you got out and took advantage of some of them.

 

The event that I elected to grace was George Wilborn’s show at The Comedy House Theatre. In case you’ve been living under a rock for the last few years (or maybe you just don’t listen to urban radio), George Wilborn is Michael Baisden’s funnyman sidekick. He’s been on the Michael Baisden Show for a couple of years now and I must admit that he gave it some much-needed ‘umph’. I had long grown bored with ‘Pimps in the Pulpit’ by the time George joined the crew.

 

At first The Michael Baisden Show was daring, entertaining and a breath of fresh ghetto air. Then after a couple of months, I quickly recognized that the same old topics and foolery were being recycled over and over again. If you heard the show one week, then you heard it every week.

 

Anywho, enough of my Baisden-bashing. Skip G and Smoke were the opening and feature acts. They did an honest job but George Wilborn definitely didn’t have to worry about being upstaged by either of them.

 

When George came out, I think the audience was pleasantly surprised at how attractive he was. He was nicely dressed in a vibrant yellow button-down shirt that glowed against that pretty black skin. And when he smiled, the combination of the yellow shirt and his sparkling white teeth made me wonder if it was 8 o’clock at night or 8 o’clock in the morning. When George spoke, I heard people around me whisper that he sounds just like he does on the radio. I’m curious… who did they expect him to sound like? Alvin and the Chipmunks?

Wilborn’s comedy routine was actually pretty good. Like all good comedians, he infused some local events into his routine. And unfortunately for us, his local topic was the racially-motivated murder and dragging of a black man in Newberry. He managed to get a laugh or two out of the event, but I was extremely embarrassed that a nationally-known comedian could come to our town and point out how back-woods we seem to be. Pretty disappointing.

 

Anywho, Wilborn was able to keep the laughs rolling with his take on relationships, politics, white people and sex… the typical comedy topics. One of the funnier moments in show came when he mimicked Steve Harvey. You know how Steve Harvey talks with his hands, all 10 fingers spread apart? That’s what George Wilborn did as he pointed out that Steve claims to be a ‘relationship expert’ yet is on marriage number three. Personally, I think some of the best experts are the ones who have failed many times before they found success.

 

Even so, it seems that George has found marital success in just one shot! He pointed out that he’s been married to the same women for 18 years. I guess that more than qualifies him to call into question Steve Harvey’s 90-day rule. Instead of waiting 90 days to have sex with someone like Harvey suggests, Wilborn was a proponent of having sex right away! He said, if you check it out on the first night and like it, then you proceed to the next step…”Now, what’s your last name?” And if you don’t like it, at least you haven’t wasted 90 whole days of your life before you figure it out!

 

Well, that advice must have been the motto of the lady in front of me with the black dress on; she let everyone know that she shared that theory. While the others of us just laughed, her animated head-nodding and loud concurrence showed that she whole-heartedly agreed.

 

At the end of the show, George was extremely gracious and allowed a long line of women to take cell phone pictures with him. As I stood by patiently, hoping to snag a 5-minute interview, guess who came just-a twisting her little self around in front of George? Little Miss Black Dress. Now, I must admit, sistah was cute, but it was clear, she wanted a more intimate interview with George Wilborn. I could barely ask him my questions with all her sideline antics.

 

So, after I had asked my final question and George gave me a cordial hug, he turned to Miss Black Dress and her crew and asked, “So, what are you ladies getting into tonight?”

 

“We’re not sure, yet.” They replied in unison.

 

“Well, whatever it is,” George said, “you have a good time and be careful.” And with that, he turned and walked away.

 

And I died laughing.

 

So, let that be a lesson to groupies: After the show is over, take your ass to the house; ain’t nobody studying you!

2010 Columbia Black Exp Main Event

The 13^th Annual Columbia Black Expo, held at the Colonial Life Arena, proved to be one of the best events this spring, and the best expo ever. Thomas Media, who hosted the event, found the perfect balance of information, business-promotion, youthful energy, talent, and celebrity. Like any good media/marketing firm, Thomas Media knew exactly who their audience was and gave everyone what they wanted.

Information. Early in the day, various business seminars were held, including Finding a Career in Today’s Society and Let’s Get Energy Wise. It was a smart move to make the seminars the first event of the day so that attendees and business owners could get the structured portion of the event out of the way and enjoy the rest uninhibitedly. It’s kind of like going to the 8:00 am church service so you can enjoy the rest of your Sunday guilt-free.

Business. If you are a large or small business-owner, public service entity, or strive to have any kind of public presence and missed the Black Expo, what a tremendous mistake you have made. This was the best possible opportunity to get up close and personal with one of the fastest-growing consumer markets in Columbia. There isn’t a single business in the Midlands that could not have benefitted from the exposure and networking opportunities that this year’s Black Expo afforded.

The businesses that faired the best at the expo were those who got up out of their chairs and stopped texting long enough to engage with attendees in a meaningful way. And having something interesting, tasty, or free to offer helped also! Cake South, which is opening a store at Sparkleberry Crossing, proved to be very popular at the event. They sold huge slices of red velvet cake that had to be shared with three others just to finish it.

While Cake South showed how to debut a business with an awesome product, Shonna Williams of Jaas Jewelry and Things, demonstrated that personality and customer service, coupled with a great product, are an unbeatable combination. Having walked out of the house without my earrings, I vowed to purchase a pair at the first vendor I saw once I got inside. That vendor was Shonna Williams. She greeted me warmly and showed me the last pair of earrings she had for sale. When I searched my pockets, I found that I was $2 short of the purchase price. Since I had already put the earrings in my ear, Williams told me to keep them and bring the money when I come back through. That was a smart business move as it earned her a spot in my article and a loyal customer that will spend far more than $2 on my next visit.

Youthful energy. PYNK Signature Salon and Spa proved to be another popular booth. They not only provided salon services on the spot, they also had the prettiest girls parading around, drawing both men and women to their booth! That’s what I call out-of the-box thinking.

Talent. This year’s addition of the Gospel Best Competition proved to be one of Thomas Media’s smartest moves. Similar to BET’s Sunday Best, the competition started off with 50 groups competing for a $10,000 prize. After a final performance on Saturday, judges awarded the huge cash prize to John Lakin.. The gospel competition drew thousands of attendees who not only got to see all of Columbia’s gospel superstars under one roof, but witnessed the wild antics of David Mann, more commonly known as Mr. Brown. That brings me to the last component on the 2010 Black Expo magic formula.

Celebrity. The oddly-successful couple, Tamala and David Mann, was the perfect hosts for the Gospel Best competition. Mr. Brown (David Mann) was out in full effect with his signature mix-matched clothes and over-the-top behavior while (Cora) Tamala Mann was as beautiful and graceful as ever. Those who were patient enough to stand in a line that snaked half-way around the Colonial Life Arena, were paid with an autographed church fan.

Tasha Smith and Doc Shaw, both of Tyler Perry fame, also had their fair share of fanfare with impressive autograph lines. In case you are wondering, Tasha Smith is even more beautiful in real life than on TV.

Chrisette Michelle was the last celebrity to perform at the Saturday event. And quite the celebrity she was. In fact, I think I saw a woman get a little upset when her boyfriend pushed her aside to get a better peek at the powerhouse beauty. While Chrisette was a vision for the men to behold, she performed to the ladies. She sang a song for every phase of a woman’s love. She sang of love’s evasiveness and sweetness, as well the loss of love. She gave a man permission to blame it on her for the benefit of ending the relationship just before she begged another not to leave her because she was fragile. She truly told a story for every woman in the audience.

The numbers 13 and 2010 should go down in Thomas Media history. That’s because the 13th Annual Black Expo is the one that they got it exactly right and 2010 is the year they found the magic formula. Good luck 14 and 2011.

The Black Expo Gala Concert

For the second year in a row, I scored two VIP tickets that afforded me and a selected guest an opportunity to attend the Black Expo Gala in grand fashion. When I say grand, I mean delicious food and free premium liquor. Side note: If you thought Crown Royal was good, you haven’t tasted anything until you have a run with Crown Black. If you are a mixed drink kind of a guy/gal, do yourself a favor and do this one over ice. Don’t ruin this good liquor with a mixer.

Anyway, after helping myself to all the delicious offerings, I found my seat and braced myself for the show. The show was supposed to consist of Will Downing and Boney James. When a car accident on Thursday rendered James unable to attend, Thomas Media group skillfully filled the opening with the legendary Roy Ayers and the uncompromised Lalah Hathaway. As revered of a jazz artist Boney James is, the final lineup of artists actually was the better combination.

Roy Ayers, serving as the opening act, expertly played the xylophone. If your memory faltered for a moment and you forgot the jazz force that Ayers is, you were quickly reminded when heard the ‘doo-be doo, run, run, run’ of “Running Away” and the heavily sampled “Everybody Loves the Sunshine”. Ayers, his band and his lead vocalist John Pressley, had everyone wiggling in their seats. You know you are at a mature concert when you leave an event sweat-free and you still had a wonderful time.

I definitely had a wonderful time when Roy Ayers hooked a sista up with some sugar on her cheek. Don’t hate!

Next up was Lalah Hathaway. She entered the stage in a tiered sequin number that I didn’t care very much for. As laid back as her stage performance was, she could have come out in something much more casual and comfortable and it would not have taken away at all. But when she opened her mouth and uttered her first musical sounds, I thought: ‘how can the human voice do that?’ Hathaway’s voice was uniquely melodious as it went from floating on an ever-so calm wave to leaping, jumping and dashing over the river and through the woods with extreme ease. She sang many of her most popular tones, but clearly not enough for her fans. Her jazzy rendition of George Gershwin’s “Summertime” not only displayed her talent but that of her background singers and musicians as well. And when she crooned Luther Vandross’ “Forever, For Always, For Love” (which was her first number one hit) everyone believed that love could last forever.

My final thought about Hathaway was that she did her deceased father, Donnie Hathaway, proud. She’s living the dream we all had for him.

And finally, it was time for the headliner, Will Downing When Downing glided on the stage, all the ladies simultaneously sank down four inches into their seats.I wonder how the men felt to see their women (s)cream over another man.

Back to Will… Beautiful. Immaculately dressed. Charismatic. Fine… all of that rolled into one. He sang his most popular songs including the one that made me fall in love with him my senior year in high school, “Crazy”. He didn’t sing “I Try” another of my favorites. But, I unlike others, understand that an artist can’t sing every single one of his hits… they just can’t! So don’t complain; just enjoy what you got.

It is clear that shows like Downing’s are primarily for women. Few men would claim to be such a fan that they would go to this kind of show alone. But there were a ton of single women there by themselves or with girlfriends. Any woman that didn’t go with a man got cheated because her ticket price should have guaranteed her some good loving that night. But for men who went with a date, trust me, I think they will agree, that that was the best money they’ve spent in a long time.

The Black Expo Opening Reception and Auction

On Thursday night, I attended the opening reception and auction for the SC Black Expo. Since this was an invitation-only event, I’m sure many of you did not attend. But that’s what That Teowonna! is here for… to answer the questions: What Happened and How Was It.

First, let’s talk about the auction. There were a number of items and ‘packages’ put together by area entities and businesses up for bid. The types of items were: Art by Ernest Lee The Funky Chicken Man and packages for services like: HVAC, pest control, dental services, carpet cleaning and many more. Other packages for spa services, and week-end get-a-ways were also auctioned off. There was even a package that consisted of two Maxwell concert tickets and an overnight stay in the Columbia Marriott. Nice. The proceeds of the event went to support Palmetto Health Cancer Research.

The reception also served as the unveiling of the Columbia Edition 2010-2011 Black Pages. To be honest with you, when they said they were going to ‘unveil’ the new who’s who book, I thought they were unveiling some kind of a masterpiece. Actually,.it turned out to be just more of the same ole’ same ole. It highlights all of the ‘top’ movers and shakers in Columbia… the current and rising stars. But what is conspicuously missing are sections like: Who in Public Service; Who’s Who in Community Activism; Who’s Who in Volunteerism; Who’s Who is Mentorship. I know some people who are doing some great work for the people of Columbia who should be recognized. Man, what does it take to get recognition for good deeds in this publication? A $1000 ad?

Now that that’s been said… let’s talk about the event itself… off the chain. I can’t even lie; I had a fabulous time. Here are the best things about the evening:

1. The Music. From the moment you walked through the door, you were engulfed in the smooth jazz sounds of the Phase of a Pulse band, featuring an outstanding lead vocalist. The music helped to set the mood for the evening that ensued. When the vocalist broke out in George Gershwin’s “Summertime”, I knew I was in the right place. But I do have one thing to say about the music that is neither a compliment nor a criticism… just an observation: Can black people ever have a single event without the electric slide? I mean damn.

2. The Venue. The event was held at 701 Whaley Street in the historic Olympia district. For those of you who don’t know, 701 Whaley Street isn’t only the address, it is also the name of the building. This artsy venue was the best possible location for this event as it had just the right combination of space, swagger, upscaledness, down-to-earthness, and culture. The atmosphere that this place created propelled this event into the memorable category for me… memorable good, not memorable trifling!

3. The Food. Absolutely delish . Everyone I talked to was raving about the cuisine that was expertly prepared and served by Houston’s Enterprise Catering. I mean, Frank and Millie Houston really put their foot in it. As the meeting planner for the best insurance company in the whole southeastern region, I have been to some swanky receptions. Heck, I’ve planned some swanky receptions. But that was without a doubt some of the best reception food I’ve ever had…absolutely superb. Houston’s will definitely be hearing more from me.

4. The Art. In addition to the art being auctioned off, there were excellent pieces displayed on the walls of 701 Whaley Street. No offense to Ernest Lee The Funky Chicken Man, but I wish there were more of a variety of art up for auction, like that of local artists Keith Tolen and Schring Khaka, both of whom I had the pleasure of meeting. There was one piece by Keith Tolen that literally jumped off of the wall. When you are in the area, go by 701 Whaley Street and take a look at it… you will know exactly which one I am talking about. The other piece of art that got my attention was a paint/varnished wood piece by Schring KhaRa. (It’s times like these that I wish I had not dropped Art History in college.) That piece has my name written all over it! As a matter of fact, I’m certain that Schring channeled That Teowonna! when she working on it. That piece is so me that I’m not going to talk about it anymore for fear ya’ll might go scoop it up before I can raise the money to buy it.

5. The Crowd. This invitation-only event managed to muster up some of Columbia’s finest. Seeing as how I didn’t get a formal invitation, I think the event host, Thomas Media, needs to update their who’s who list. But much to your amusement, as a bona fide member of the media, I was there by default. Ha-ha. Anywho, I saw local who’s who: doctors, lawyers, politicians, businessmen… blah blah blah. All those who make an event an event. All those who always receive recognition, therefore, I don’t need to do it today.

But much to my delight, I ran into Columbia’s #1 Who’s Who right now: Mayor-elect Steve Benjamin. Mayor-elect Benjamin and I had a brief but confirming conversation. He said he read and loved the blog I wrote last week, Columbia’s Play Play Elite Fired Chief Tandy. Now, to keep him out of trouble, he didn’t say he agreed with my assessment. But he didn’t say that he disagreed either! What our conversation confirmed for me was that I have a voice worth listening to and write words that are being read. Thank you, Mayor-elect Benjamin. I appreciate you and look forward to a brighter Columbia under your leadership. Just know that when I write about you, which I will eventually do, please remember that I have a voice worth listening to and write words that are read.

Blair Underwood Answers Why Black Men Don’t Like Tyler Perry

On Tuesday, Blair Underwood held a book signing at the Books-A-Million at the Village at Sandhills. A book signing? Since when did he become a writer? I must admit that this is the first time I’ve ever seen anyone who did not write a book go on a book signing tour… except for ‘authors’ like Steve Harvey and NeNe Leaks who used ghost writers. As wrong as it is, that’s pretty common place. But this?

Underwood actually described himself as the ‘producer’ of the book, “From Cape Town with Love” which is the third installment in the Tennyson Hardwick series. The writers are actually the husband and wife team, Tananrive Due and Steven Barnes. Underwood says that the duo writes the book and sends him three or four chapters at a time. He reviews them and gives creative direction and feedback. He said, “Basically because my name and face are all over, I have a lot of input and a lot of creative ideas.” In other words, he’s the front man to boost sales… Ok. Well, at least he’s honest!

Legitimate writer or not, Underwood’s appearance in Columbia would be the perfect time to ask him about this ‘vook’ idea. A ‘vook’ (spoken with exaggerated contempt) is a visual book; I saw Underwood discussing the new medium on Today last week. The idea is you would read the written portion of the story on some kind of electronic device like a Kindle or an iPad. Certain scenes of the ‘vook’ (don’t forget the contempt) would be acted out as in a movie.

What? That’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard of. And the scariest! Are writers today so unimaginative and incompetent that they must rely on moving pictures to tell a story? People don’t read enough already as it is! Well, I was gonna tell Mister Underwood about himself… promoting this asinine, literacy-decreasing idea.

When I stomped into the Books-A-Million, I was all geared up to tear into Mister Underwood about this ‘vook’ thing… further diminishing the value of the real literature and the written word; helping the paper medium find it’s extinction even quicker. I mean, who does Blair Underwood think he is anyway; promoting this blasphemous electronic poison? Pushing this new-age crack into our communities!

As you can imagine, I had worked myself into quite a tizzy. To maintain my anger, I kept rewinding those thoughts in my mind and repeating them aloud from time to time; I didn’t want my rage to decrease or to forget what I was mad about!

After a few minutes, I was told by the organizer that Mister Underwood was in an interview with Brandi Cummings, the host of WISTV’s Awareness. She told me that perhaps I could get a 5-minute interview if time permitted. While I was on standby, I paced and repeated to myself… “pushing this new-age crack into our communities…” When he emerges from that back room, I’ll be waiting for him, I thought.

And I was! When Mister Underwood walked out, I glared at him with the same hatred that I have for snakes and cheaters! Then, when Blair (notice the change to first name) saw me, he smiles, reached out and grabbed my hand. His eyes said, “Hey, baby. Here I am. Sorry I kept you waiting. ”

And with that, the vook made perfect sense.

Since my pointed questions about the vook (spoken much softer, now) no longer applied, I had to think of an intelligent, yet provocative question to ask Blair. I got my opportunity when a woman in the audience asked him about his role in the Tyler Perry’s movie, Madea’s Family Reunion. That question served as the perfect segue to ask him something I’ve asked many black men before: Why do you think black men hate Tyler Perry and the whole Madea phenomenon?

Blair tried to dodge the question by saying, “I can’t speak for them. You have to ask them.” Now who does he think I am? Some second-year journalism student or something? I’m That Teowonna!

I probed a little further and Blair finally relented, answering, “You know, I really can’t [speak for them] but I can say what I’ve heard. I think for men, when you see a man dressing up in a dress, a lot of us don’t want to see that, necessarily. I tend to look at the big picture. I tend to look at the success he’s had and the money he’s made; the actors he’s employed; the crew members he’s employed. And like anything… to me… [unintelligible] he’s like a family member. So I’m not going to attack Tyler for what he’s doing. I want him to keep growing and getting better.”

Well said, Blair Underwood! Now about this vook…

What Happened and How Was It – Columbia Black Expo Main Event

The 13^th Annual Columbia Black Expo, held at the Colonial Life Arena, proved to be one of the best events this spring, and the best expo ever. Thomas Media, who hosted the event, found the perfect balance of information, business-promotion, youthful energy, talent, and celebrity. Like any good media/marketing firm, Thomas Media knew exactly who their audience was and gave everyone what they wanted.

Information. Early in the day, various business seminars were held, including Finding a Career in Today’s Society and Let’s Get Energy Wise. It was a smart move to make the seminars the first event of the day so that attendees and business owners could get the structured portion of the event out of the way and enjoy the rest uninhibitedly. It’s kind of like going to the 8:00 am church service so you can enjoy the rest of your Sunday guilt-free.

Business. If you are a large or small business-owner, public service entity, or strive to have any kind of public presence and missed the Black Expo, what a tremendous mistake you have made. This was the best possible opportunity to get up close and personal with one of the fastest-growing consumer markets in Columbia. There isn’t a single business in the Midlands that could not have benefitted from the exposure and networking opportunities that this year’s Black Expo afforded.

The businesses that faired the best at the expo were those who got up out of their chairs and stopped texting long enough to engage with attendees in a meaningful way. And having something interesting, tasty, or free to offer helped also! Cake South, which is opening a store at Sparkleberry Crossing, proved to be very popular at the event. They sold huge slices of red velvet cake that had to be shared with three others just to finish it.

While Cake South showed how to debut a business with an awesome product, Shonna Williams of Jaas Jewelry and Things, demonstrated that personality and customer service, coupled with a great product, are an unbeatable combination. Having walked out of the house without my earrings, I vowed to purchase a pair at the first vendor I saw once I got inside. That vendor was Shonna Williams. She greeted me warmly and showed me the last pair of earrings she had for sale. When I searched my pockets, I found that I was $2 short of the purchase price. Since I had already put the earrings in my ear, Williams told me to keep them and bring the money when I come back through. That was a smart business move as it earned her a spot in my article and a loyal customer that will spend far more than $2 on my next visit.

Youthful energy. PYNK Signature Salon and Spa proved to be another popular booth. They not only provided salon services on the spot, they also had the prettiest girls parading around, drawing both men and women to their booth! That’s what I call out-of the-box thinking.

Talent. This year’s addition of the Gospel Best Competition proved to be one of Thomas Media’s smartest moves. Similar to BET’s Sunday Best, the competition started off with 50 groups competing for a $10,000 prize. After a final performance on Saturday, judges awarded the huge cash prize to John Lakin.. The gospel competition drew thousands of attendees who not only got to see all of Columbia’s gospel superstars under one roof, but witnessed the wild antics of David Mann, more commonly known as Mr. Brown. That brings me to the last component on the 2010 Black Expo magic formula.

Celebrity. The oddly-successful couple, Tamala and David Mann, was the perfect hosts for the Gospel Best competition. Mr. Brown (David Mann) was out in full effect with his signature mix-matched clothes and over-the-top behavior while (Cora) Tamala Mann was as beautiful and graceful as ever. Those who were patient enough to stand in a line that snaked half-way around the Colonial Life Arena, were paid with an autographed church fan.

Tasha Smith and Doc Shaw, both of Tyler Perry fame, also had their fair share of fanfare with impressive autograph lines. In case you are wondering, Tasha Smith is even more beautiful in real life than on TV.

Chrisette Michelle was the last celebrity to perform at the Saturday event. And quite the celebrity she was. In fact, I think I saw a woman get a little upset when her boyfriend pushed her aside to get a better peek at the powerhouse beauty. While Chrisette was a vision for the men to behold, she performed to the ladies. She sang a song for every phase of a woman’s love. She sang of love’s evasiveness and sweetness, as well the loss of love. She gave a man permission to blame it on her for the benefit of ending the relationship just before she begged another not to leave her because she was fragile. She truly told a story for every woman in the audience.

The numbers 13 and 2010 should go down in Thomas Media history. That’s because the 13th Annual Black Expo is the one that they got it exactly right and 2010 is the year they found the magic formula. Good luck 14 and 2011.

What Happened and How Was It – The Black Expo Gala Concert

For the second year in a row, I scored two VIP tickets that afforded me and a selected guest an opportunity to attend the Black Expo Gala in grand fashion. When I say grand, I mean delicious food and free premium liquor. Side note: If you thought Crown Royal was good, you haven’t tasted anything until you have a run with Crown Black. If you are a mixed drink kind of a guy/gal, do yourself a favor and do this one over ice. Don’t ruin this good liquor with a mixer.

Anyway, after helping myself to all the delicious offerings, I found my seat and braced myself for the show. The show was supposed to consist of Will Downing and Boney James. When a car accident on Thursday rendered James unable to attend, Thomas Media group skillfully filled the opening with the legendary Roy Ayers and the uncompromised Lalah Hathaway. As revered of a jazz artist Boney James is, the final lineup of artists actually was the better combination.

Roy Ayers, serving as the opening act, expertly played the xylophone. If your memory faltered for a moment and you forgot the jazz force that Ayers is, you were quickly reminded when heard the ‘doo-be doo, run, run, run’ of “Running Away” and the heavily sampled “Everybody Loves the Sunshine”. Ayers, his band and his lead vocalist John Pressley, had everyone wiggling in their seats. You know you are at a mature concert when you leave an event sweat-free and you still had a wonderful time.

I definitely had a wonderful time when Roy Ayers hooked a sista up with some sugar on her cheek. Don’t hate!

Next up was Lalah Hathaway. She entered the stage in a tiered sequin number that I didn’t care very much for. As laid back as her stage performance was, she could have come out in something much more casual and comfortable and it would not have taken away at all. But when she opened her mouth and uttered her first musical sounds, I thought: ‘how can the human voice do that?’ Hathaway’s voice was uniquely melodious as it went from floating on an ever-so calm wave to leaping, jumping and dashing over the river and through the woods with extreme ease. She sang many of her most popular tones, but clearly not enough for her fans. Her jazzy rendition of George Gershwin’s “Summertime” not only displayed her talent but that of her background singers and musicians as well. And when she crooned Luther Vandross’ “Forever, For Always, For Love” (which was her first number one hit) everyone believed that love could last forever.

My final thought about Hathaway was that she did her deceased father, Donnie Hathaway, proud. She’s living the dream we all had for him.

And finally, it was time for the headliner, Will Downing When Downing glided on the stage, all the ladies simultaneously sank down four inches into their seats.I wonder how the men felt to see their women (s)cream over another man.

Back to Will… Beautiful. Immaculately dressed. Charismatic. Fine… all of that rolled into one. He sang his most popular songs including the one that made me fall in love with him my senior year in high school, “Crazy”. He didn’t sing “I Try” another of my favorites. But, I unlike others, understand that an artist can’t sing every single one of his hits… they just can’t! So don’t complain; just enjoy what you got.

It is clear that shows like Downing’s are primarily for women. Few men would claim to be such a fan that they would go to this kind of show alone. But there were a ton of single women there by themselves or with girlfriends. Any woman that didn’t go with a man got cheated because her ticket price should have guaranteed her some good loving that night. But for men who went with a date, trust me, I think they will agree, that that was the best money they’ve spent in a long time.

What Happened and How Was It – The Columbia Black Expo Opening Reception and Auction

On Thursday night, I attended the opening reception and auction for the SC Black Expo. Since this was an invitation-only event, I’m sure many of you did not attend. But that’s what That Teowonna! is here for… to answer the questions: What Happened and How Was It.

First, let’s talk about the auction. There were a number of items and ‘packages’ put together by area entities and businesses up for bid. The types of items were: Art by Ernest Lee The Funky Chicken Man and packages for services like: HVAC, pest control, dental services, carpet cleaning and many more. Other packages for spa services, and week-end get-a-ways were also auctioned off. There was even a package that consisted of two Maxwell concert tickets and an overnight stay in the Columbia Marriott. Nice. The proceeds of the event went to support Palmetto Health Cancer Research.

The reception also served as the unveiling of the Columbia Edition 2010-2011 Black Pages. To be honest with you, when they said they were going to ‘unveil’ the new who’s who book, I thought they were unveiling some kind of a masterpiece. Actually,.it turned out to be just more of the same ole’ same ole. It highlights all of the ‘top’ movers and shakers in Columbia… the current and rising stars. But what is conspicuously missing are sections like: Who in Public Service; Who’s Who in Community Activism; Who’s Who in Volunteerism; Who’s Who is Mentorship. I know some people who are doing some great work for the people of Columbia who should be recognized. Man, what does it take to get recognition for good deeds in this publication? A $1000 ad?

Now that that’s been said… let’s talk about the event itself… off the chain. I can’t even lie; I had a fabulous time. Here are the best things about the evening:

1. The Music. From the moment you walked through the door, you were engulfed in the smooth jazz sounds of the Phase of a Pulse band, featuring an outstanding lead vocalist. The music helped to set the mood for the evening that ensued. When the vocalist broke out in George Gershwin’s “Summertime”, I knew I was in the right place. But I do have one thing to say about the music that is neither a compliment nor a criticism… just an observation: Can black people ever have a single event without the electric slide? I mean damn.

2. The Venue. The event was held at 701 Whaley Street in the historic Olympia district. For those of you who don’t know, 701 Whaley Street isn’t only the address, it is also the name of the building. This artsy venue was the best possible location for this event as it had just the right combination of space, swagger, upscaledness, down-to-earthness, and culture. The atmosphere that this place created propelled this event into the memorable category for me… memorable good, not memorable trifling!

3. The Food. Absolutely delish . Everyone I talked to was raving about the cuisine that was expertly prepared and served by Houston’s Enterprise Catering. I mean, Frank and Millie Houston really put their foot in it. As the meeting planner for the best insurance company in the whole southeastern region, I have been to some swanky receptions. Heck, I’ve planned some swanky receptions. But that was without a doubt some of the best reception food I’ve ever had…absolutely superb. Houston’s will definitely be hearing more from me.

4. The Art. In addition to the art being auctioned off, there were excellent pieces displayed on the walls of 701 Whaley Street. No offense to Ernest Lee The Funky Chicken Man, but I wish there were more of a variety of art up for auction, like that of local artists Keith Tolen and Schring Khaka, both of whom I had the pleasure of meeting. There was one piece by Keith Tolen that literally jumped off of the wall. When you are in the area, go by 701 Whaley Street and take a look at it… you will know exactly which one I am talking about. The other piece of art that got my attention was a paint/varnished wood piece by Schring KhaRa. (It’s times like these that I wish I had not dropped Art History in college.) That piece has my name written all over it! As a matter of fact, I’m certain that Schring channeled That Teowonna! when she working on it. That piece is so me that I’m not going to talk about it anymore for fear ya’ll might go scoop it up before I can raise the money to buy it.

5. The Crowd. This invitation-only event managed to muster up some of Columbia’s finest. Seeing as how I didn’t get a formal invitation, I think the event host, Thomas Media, needs to update their who’s who list. But much to your amusement, as a bona fide member of the media, I was there by default. Ha-ha. Anywho, I saw local who’s who: doctors, lawyers, politicians, businessmen… blah blah blah. All those who make an event an event. All those who always receive recognition, therefore, I don’t need to do it today.

But much to my delight, I ran into Columbia’s #1 Who’s Who right now: Mayor-elect Steve Benjamin. Mayor-elect Benjamin and I had a brief but confirming conversation. He said he read and loved the blog I wrote last week, Columbia’s Play Play Elite Fired Chief Tandy. Now, to keep him out of trouble, he didn’t say he agreed with my assessment. But he didn’t say that he disagreed either! What our conversation confirmed for me was that I have a voice worth listening to and write words that are being read. Thank you, Mayor-elect Benjamin. I appreciate you and look forward to a brighter Columbia under your leadership. Just know that when I write about you, which I will eventually do, please remember that I have a voice worth listening to and write words that are read.

Columbia’s Play-Play Elite Fired Chief Tandy

Earlier this week, I was floored when I got a text message from WLTX alerting me that Columbia’s city manager, Steve Gantt, had fired the city police chief, Tandy Carter. Say what? Hasn’t Tandy only been serving the City for six months? Actually, it’s been more like two years, but after paying a search firm $10,000 to find him and paying him a more than 100k a year, it may as well be only six months.

After I picked my bottom lip up off the floor, I logged on to see what the reason was behind the termination. Did Tandy kill someone? Steal something? Deal drugs out of his SUV and extorted money from drug dealers? Run off with his mistress and not tell anyone? Federal tax evasion? Get his mama to take out a loan for city funds? What? Surely not because he refused to turn the investigation of the Benjamin/Rubens car accident case over to another agency. Surely not. But that’s exactly what it was!

Well, I’ll be…

It appears City Council members wanted the investigation to be turned over to another agency to avoid the appearance of a conflict of interest. Tandy refused to turn over the case because he said that his police department was more than capable of running an honest and unbiased investigation. He further said that the departmental investigation was well within his scope of his duties. After all, Mayor-elect Benjamin is still a regular citizen until he takes office in June.

Makes perfect sense to me. But that rationale wasn’t good enough for City Council members… they wanted Tandy to jump when they said jump. They wanted Tandy to do what they wanted him to do, rather than what was within his professional discretion.

That’s the problem with Columbia, and it has been for quite a while. In Tandy’s press conference, he made reference to a report released by a community panel, led by SC Supreme Court Chief Justice Ernest Finney. The report was critical of Police Department operations, saying that many of the problems of the department resulted from City Council members meddling in police decisions. And it seems the firing of Tandy proves the Finney Report right.

The Columbia Police Department needs an outsider who doesn’t have any of the good ole’ boy alliances and ties. The search firm found exactly what Columbia needed when they found Tandy Carter two years ago… a strong, experienced, professional, well-credentialed police chief who could do his job without feeling bullied by City Council. Unfortunately, the Council is just too full of itself and its elitist status to recognize it!

Elitist status? Yes! Elitist status. You see, South Carolina (Columbia, in particular) does not have a real elite class. We do not have a professional sports team. No NBA team. No NFL franchise. No large cultural scene. No significant presence of the Arts. No rap stars. No reality show stars. Nothing. We are smack dab in the middle of Atlanta and Charlotte, both of which have all of those things, yet we don’t. We couldn’t even sustain the Three Rivers Music Festival. We can’t even get the NCAA to bring their tournaments here; much less bring a professional sports team here!

So, in absence of high-profile athletes, rap artists, business tycoons, and cultural artists, the Columbia professional became our elite class. That includes our media personalities, local politicians, young lawyers and doctors, House of Representative members and City Council members.

In larger cities where there are professional athletes and other ‘bona fide ballers’, it is common to come in contact with those oversized personalities and egos… those that have a false sense of entitlement; want something for free; want the room to stop when they walk in. But since we don’t have the real thing here, our play-play elite takes on that role. Have you ever noticed how when certain members of the House, Bar and media walk into a room, they stop and look around to see who is watching them? Play-play elite.

That’s why Chief Tandy was fired. Because Columbia’s play-play elite wanted him to dance to their music. And he refused. And if we continue to allow the city to be run this way, that’s all Columbia will ever have; play-play elite.